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  • Writer's pictureMaruta Ignatoviča

I did a thing.

So, umm, I did a thing.


But let's rewind a little.


A while ago, I wrote a blog article right here on LinkedIn, sharing my 10 learnings from my 10+ years in the workforce.


The idea for it came to me out of nowhere and the article basically wrote itself.


It was also around that time I realized I am not happy. Obviously, in retrospect, it's super obvious - that article was my subconscious speaking to me. But it took me a while to get it.


Those who know me, know I have zero chill - I am hardworking, I always have a job and three projects on the side, and I got both my Bachelor's and Master's degrees while working full-time. As you guessed, I like to keep busy. Partially because I actually find life and work interesting and exciting, and partially because I grew up thinking I have to work and prove myself 24/7. The answer to “why” is probably a mix of my personality, culture, family, and other life experiences. Add the fact that the last couple of years have been very intense in my personal life as well… And the following makes sense.

I quit my job.


After being there for only a couple of months. With no full-time job lined up. In this economy!


I know, it's wild.


To be really honest with you and myself, I never should have taken that job in the first place. I took it because it seemed exciting. I really wanted it to work - even though I wasn't in a place to perform my best. I tried to push through, but my body made it super obvious very quickly - not this time. And my body was right - constantly pushing through for the last couple of years was what got me here in the first place. And just in case you're wondering where is “here” - “here” is a land of exhaustion and overwhelm and an over-fried brain that went beyond mental exhaustion and manifested into physical problems as well.


So, after a lot of talks with my Holy Trinity - my partner, my sister, and my therapist - I slowly devised a crazy, crazy plan - to step back and focus on myself. And the more I thought about it, the crazier the plan seemed. For the longest time, I kept asking myself: “Will I ever forgive myself, if I do this?”, thinking about the implications this might leave on my career and oh-what-would-everyone-think. Until, at one point, a quiet voice emerged from the depths of my heart, and said: “Will you ever forgive yourself, if you don't?”


So I did a thing.


I made a decision that was fully for myself, at this moment. Not for my future self or my future career, or to make Mom and Dad happy (even though they never asked that of me). But for myself, here and today.


Circling back to the blog article in the beginning - you won't believe how many times I re-read it, reminding myself there's nothing I can do, that will ruin my life forever. There's nothing I can do, that will ruin my life forever. There's nothing I can do ….. Like a mantra.


Why am I telling you all this?


The night before I handed in my notice, I stumbled upon another post here on LinkedIn. A woman on the other side of the world had shared her story, which was almost identical to mine. Her situation, her path, her health issues, and even her job title was identical to mine. And she had just quit, just as I was about to.


Her words inspired me so much that I DM'd her at 1 am, saying “Thank you”. Her story made me feel less alone in my journey. Because you rarely read stories like mine - being laid off; accepting a new, way more exciting job, and then a couple of months later suddenly quitting. To move to an island in the North Sea so that I can learn the slow life and watch more sunsets on the beach.


There's more to my story - as much as I'm resting, I'm also slowly building something of my own. But more on that later.


What matters, is that I know the answer to the question now. I would have never forgiven myself if I hadn't done it.

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